Rana Good is the founder of Naïra NYC. A writer for publications such as Forbes, Travel + Leisure, Coveteur, Mens Journal and others, she created her own platform celebrating women of color.
When nightlife all but seized to exist during the pandemic, DJ and music artist Amrit shifted gears but continued to entertain — this time focusing on the topic of dating. Posting an array of memes and hosting hilarious Q&A sessions on her Instagram, she quickly became the Internet go-to person for all things love and sex.
Fast forward to today and Amrit now hosts her own dating show Unhinged on NTWRK and an IGTV series “Ask Amrit’ discussing salacious scenarios with an array of guests. We spoke to Amrit about dating apps, her worst date ever, and how to get what you want out of a relationship.
Why did you start making content about dating?
Amrit: It started serendipitously with me posting memes about dating online and it just went from there. Sometimes people ask me what makes me qualified to talk about dating — I tell them that I dated for ten years in New York. I’ve dated every guy out there and I can definitely tell you what not to do when it comes to dating. New York is a transient city; things happen quickly and it’s like dating on steroids. Working in entertainment, DJing five to six nights a week, I’ve seen it all! I know who’s coming to the party together and who’s leaving together. I’ve been observing for a decade and get a lot of really good insights. That’s why I became the friend everyone goes to for advice.
What are the most commonly asked questions on your show?
People really wanted to know what the best dating apps are, especially because of the pandemic. A lot of people asked how to communicate on social media or asked how to find out where their relationship is at. It’s funny because people will do everything but be direct. People reach out and ask me “how do I ask what are we?” and I tell them, you ask them that. That’s the exact question. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the advice we give isn’t things you don’t already know. We’re a friend giving you advice – it’s not groundbreaking but everyone wants a shoulder to lean on.
What do you think about dating apps?
I’m very pro dating apps. You need to put yourself out there! There’s an app for everything. My favorite dating app is Instagram [laughs]. My DMs are crazy, people are always telling me about their dating life. And as a woman, of course, you sometimes get unsolicited content from people. However, I’m mostly just flattered people share their personal life with me.
You’re originally from Australia, how is dating different in the U.S. versus Australia?
Incredibly different! I’m from Perth which is a three-person circle, everyone is kind of connected. New York is a lot less connected and there’s less accountability, that’s why things get a little crazier there. You can just completely disappear in New York. However, in both places, people are just looking for a situation and person that suits them.
View this post on Instagram
What’s the best/worst date you’ve ever been on?
I had a wonderful roommate during the pandemic — both of us never had roommates before. We came together in our single-girl quarantine phase, Maude was my gift during the pandemic. We went on a bunch of funny double dates, during which we’d get completely different reads on things. Things would go hysterically awry because we were four people on a date. The way it worked was that either of us would get a date and then be like “do you have a hot friend?” and then we would all go out to dinner.
Last year, had a really amazing date because we just drove around in a car, went to the beach, and listened to music for hours. It was incredible, we just enjoyed each other’s company. You don’t need to spend a ton of money or make a production of your date, it just needs to be thoughtful. However, after two great in-person dates he ghosted me, so sometimes good dates aren’t everything.
As for bad dates – I had coffee with someone once and during the first five minutes he brought up my ex. He didn’t know we had dated and he was a fan of him, saying he would love his career to take a similar path. It was endearing but to me, it was so jarring because it hit too close to home. I didn’t have the heart to be like “oh that’s my ex.” I cut it short and left and he was like “why were you so abrupt?” I told him I didn’t want to talk about my ex. It was just uncomfortable.
What should you do when you want to be exclusive with someone?
Be direct! The easiest way to find out what you are is to ask. Instead of saying what “what do you want?” you can ask the person what they’re looking for — where are you at, so I know how to approach you. That’s better than jumping down someone’s throat. Unless the communication is good you might not even get to the “what are we?” stage. You need to know yourself before and think about what you need. How can you get what you’re looking for if you don’t know? You need to make a list of your wants and needs. If someone has all of my wants, then I would get to that question. If someone only has my needs not wants, then we don’t need to get to that question. Also, your wants and needs change, so make sure to check in with yourself.
How has the pandemic shifted people’s mindset in terms of what they look for in a partner?
We spent so much with significant others all of a sudden and had a magnifying glass of our relationships — it either made or broke you. It became the catalyst for breakups or you got pregnant or engaged. It’s easy to travel and run around and be distracted but now you had to spend 30 days at a time with someone. It also made people think about what makes them happy when there were no accolades or achievements to chase. People re-calibrated their lives and realized work isn’t everything. That’s especially true in my industry which is a hamster wheel of what’s the next thing. Work is great but it’s not going to check up on you when you have COVID!
What does the perfect date look like to you?
When you can be yourself with someone, be present and honest. Simple!